From suicide to recovery…….

From suicide to sobriety! Today I celebrate 16 years clean and sober from alcohol and drugs!
On the evening of June 7th, 2001 I was hanging out in a bar in Fort Wayne, Indiana….. Like I did 8 nights a week back then.

The bar was packed, the music was loud and the good times were flowing……. Or so I thought.!
All of the sudden the bar got completely dead silent and I audibly heard a voice say “you’re done”…… To which I thought that I was finally done drinking, as I had been wanting to quit for several months.

Immediately the noise in the bar rose again, but I looked at my friend Sean and said I needed to go home.

I immediately left the bar thinking I was finally done drinking comma but just a few short minutes after I arrived to my apartment in Fort Wayne, Indiana , I was staring at a barbell with 350 pounds on it ready to drop it across my chest.
My loneliness, isolation in desperation had taken me to a place I did not know I was even entering. Somewhere along the way suicide seem to be a great option, because I have grown to hate the person I had become due to my addiction and love affair with alcohol.

As I was about to drop the weight upon my chest, my Incredible dog, Jake, started nudging my knee with his head and looking at me with those deep dog caring eyes…… My first thought was “who is going to feed you in the morning?”.

That was all it took, God intervened through my dog to save my life. A big part of me died that night, the part that hated who I had become and did not like the image he saw in the mirror.

A new part of me was born that night, a remembrance of the fact that God created me In His Image and that He does not make junk. That was a major pivotal point in my life and the next day my aunt took me to a recovery meeting and I met a group of people that were laughing and saying that life was incredible being sober.

I had no choice but to believe them, because the night before I tried to kill myself and now I was excited about the life that was before me.

I’m extremely grateful to be clean and sober this long. Sobriety has not been the easiest thing, but has taught me many many lessons.

I know what it is like to live a life that is walking in great sobriety and deep in my faith, I also know what it is like to put my faith on a shelf and stray away from working a good program and sobriety.

Today I choose life. Today I walk in my faith, not in fear. Today I am sober.

Gratefully,
Rob Lohman…..child of God.

 

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